Lately, I've had more emotional ups and downs that made me think about how I come across to other people.
Don't you sometimes wish if you could have your life videotaped so that you can just whip out the tape to see what really happened? Then again, maybe none of us would do any of those stupid things if we knew we could be re-examined any moment...
I think self-evaluation is a very good thing and can even be a positive thing. It does give you an opportunity to better yourself and also refocus on values that you do belive in. At the end of the day, I am who I am. I've already become who I will be for the most part. It's just the fine-tuning that is left to me, and I am responsible for how often and throughly I take on this more-often-than-not unpleasant task.
Thinking about how most of who I am is already set reminds me of the importance of constantly teaching our children the value we hope to instill in them. Here are some traits that are high on my mind.
1. I hope they understand how lucky they are and be generous with others.
Our neighborhood children collectively donated books to an orphanage in the Philippines with the help from Master Beater. Here, he's photographed with the children during his presentation. He did a great job of raising awareness in our privileged youngsters that "stuff" is not the only thing that those children lack. They don't even have their own families that love them above all others. Nothing else even matters at that point.
2. I hope they appreciate who they are.
That includes knowing your heritage and values. I think it's especially important for the multi-cultural families to endorse all aspects of their heritage. If they cannot love and enjoy all the qualities that they are a part of, how can they love themselves? That's why it's so important for me not to force them my own values--all I can do is to expose them and let them mold their own identities.
3. I hope they grow up to be honest people.
In Kite Runner, the father character tells his son that all the sins in the world are derivatives of stealing. I believe this to be quite accurate, obviously with some exceptions. This is why I make a point of returning any coin/thing/whatever found in random places no matter how insignificant the value is--if it doesn't belong to you, it's stealing if you keep it.
4. I hope they have happy marriages.
I probably won't have much control over this other than hopefully leading by an example--and hoping and praying--but how important is this? Your spouse can make your life rich and prosperous or just plain miserable. I hope that our own success and mistakes will teach them never to settle for someone.
What are the things that are important in your family?
I'd LOVE to hear it if you are willing to share your formula with the rest of the world!
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I love the traits you listed above. Not sure I agree with you and the father character in the Kite Runner re: all the world sins being derived from stealing...we'll have to discuss. Another important trait is to not judge others - you never know where someone is coming from and can't assume they think/feel the same way as you.
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To not judge others--that's a great one. I think that it's probably one of the hardest qualities to really get it right.
On one side, you sort of have to for yourself in order to decide how you want to live your life. But at the same time, you need to be empathetic enough to not judge others because they live different lives. Hmmmm, I have a long way to go!
As for the Kite Runner comment, I can't remember the exact quote, but it went something like "lying steals someone's right to true knowledge, killing steals someone's right to live" and so forth. What's your thought on that?
Now that Kite Runner quote I LOVE!! Actually, I just love that you're quoting from my favorite book :-)
But I have to say, my favorite quote/lesson is from Horton the elephant: "I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an elephant's faithful 100%!"