Sometimes, when you are a bit stressed out, all you have to do is to find some people who are enjoying themselves and just imagine what they might be thinking at that moment.
Don't you already feel better?
It's interesting how the source of my stress also can be the cure for my stress!
Wishing you all a stress-free, happy day...
Keiko
Lately, I've had more emotional ups and downs that made me think about how I come across to other people.
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A week has passed since Rachid left for Shanghai, and it's only a day away from being able to see his big, Texas-size smile! Please bless him so that he may return home safely...
I feel extremely grateful for the people in my life, especially at time like this when I'm a lone warrior holding up the home front.
I get calls from Rachid's bestfriend, making sure that we're surviving without him. I have a girlfriend who will not let me sluff the bootcamp and wait for me until I come out of my house. I have an awesome group of friends who would sacrifice their valuable time with their own family and come over to visit in order to nurture our friendships. I have a great and indispensable friend who would take care of the business I've forgotten to tend to without even mentioning it.
And of course, I have my truest, best friends, whose random phone calls make me forget that we are apart by great distance, or whose emails cheer me up on a rough morning, or who would just stop by to see what's up.
And then, last but definitely not the least, I have my bestest friend, my trusted counsel, a comic genius, and my eternal sunshine in my husband. Not a day has gone by, since I've met him 11 years ago, that I haven't felt so extremely lucky to have been chosen by this man.
...Meanwhile, absent Rachid cannot entertain me, and what's a girl to do? Recruit a girlfriend and go out! Since Master Beater had a DJ gig, CC and I went out to our favorite dinner spot, North, after a quick shopping trip to Barton Creek.
While we sat at the bar and sipped our glass of Michelob Ultra, we spotted CC's favorite downtown wine bar, CRU, right across the street! We walked over and found out that they just barely opened it in the Domain. It was so laid-back and low-key, while successfully maintaining the sophisticated and modern atomospher. I can't wait to take Rachid with me next time!
Thanks, all of you, for your love & support.
My life would never have been the same if I never met you...
Today, Pucker had his kindergarten assessment test.
Pucker happens to be a very bright child--I know, I know... Every parent believes that thier child is gifted (as they should!), but as a mother of two boys (same gender here and my eldest is doing just fine), I can tell you this one is quite intelligent.
After blasting through the placement test, the counselor started to give him a little more advanced material. The thing with Pucker is that he can read very well. Now, that's very different from "understanding" the story. He just reads well. Nevertheless, he managed to impress the counselor and is able to start the kindergarten come September.
The thing that made me think, at least about the Texas education system, was that they told me they were doing this to equal out each class room environment. They do not group equally-leveld children together; they spread them out equally so that each class becomes more balanced. Their belief behind it is that children learn so much from each other and that it would not be fair for anyone to have a different experience.
I'm not trying to start a debate here, but is it really not fair? Doesn't it all depend on where your child place on the scale? If he's as advanced as the counselor led me to believe today, then would it be fair for him to have to go through all the material he's already mastered and sit idle so that other children can learn from him? I'm not even talking about a genius that's out there--he's a normal, but rather an intelligent student.
Many of you might wonder why I'm not putting him in a specialized, private gifted and talented childrens' school instead. If I believe that academic performance in elementary school had anything to do with how successful/happy they would be in their lives, I would be lining up at the crack of dawn, signing him up for that prestegious children's academy. But realistically, those who succeed in the real world are not necessarily the best students. They just happen to be those people who can figure out things. That's all.
Do you ever have one of these days that you just cannot motivate yourself to do anything? I don't know what it is that causes it--maybe it was the lack of sleep, or it could have been the cloudy sky we had all day that looked like it was going to rain any minute...
I did get some work done though--now I'm an official worker bee! But I really think my laziness has a lot to do with sitting in front of the PC all day long... I completely turn into a zombie when I spend too much inactive time. Maybe I'll get off this thing now and hop on a treadmill.
It's 10:15PM right now, and Rachid is out on the ga... I mean, guy's night out. That means I probably have about another 45 minutes before all the ga.. I mean, guys come home...
By the way, this is the Rosie the Riveter poster that's hanging in my laundry room! (For those of you who are in Japan, it's a war time poster that recruited women to work in the manufacturing plants during the WWII.) How pathetic that I need it to get my own laundry done!
We went to see Jay perform in the 1st grade musical tonight.
This year's theme was the cultures of the world (...I think), and they musically explored cultures through different animals that live in different parts of the world.
They opened the performance with It's a Small World, and it just filled me with this incredible joy to see all those children singing such a powerful message.
Students were instructed to dress in their own ethnic attire that reflected their heritage. This is always a tricky one for a multi-cultural family like ours because it does not feel quite right to me to ignore the other side and have Jay only display his Japanese heritage. We thought about having him wear his kimono with the viking hat, but we decided it's best to go with the most dominant trait when you are a mutt.
It's hard to see in this picture, but it was truly incredible to see all those heritage being displayed on the stage. We saw a Japanese kimono (of course!), a Korean Hanbok, Mexican dresses and Sombreros. We saw Indian Saris, a Swedish Dirndl, and an African Kanga. We also saw lots of cowboy hats, some Uncle Sam's hats, and even a full-on Harley Davidson outfit!
It was an emotionally overwhelming site for someone like me, who grew up in such a mono-ethnic culture. I have always been fascinated with other cultures of the world ever since I was little, and to witness the wonderful diversity my children are afforded to experience first hand (in the middle of Texas, may I add!) was just incredible.
As I watched the children sing pharases in many languages that I have never heard before, I could not help but to remember some of the harder time I've experienced in this country. And all of a sudden, it became clear to me that this is why I stuck with it and did not run home when I so wanted to. I am a survivor, and my children are the proof.
If you are a parent (or if you are interested in becoming a parent one day), I'm sure you've heard that the first two years of life are the most crucial years in personality development. It seems that two years became three as more researches were conducted, and it's now believed that the environmental factors are more influencial than genetics up until the age of 5.
According to this theory, my 6-year-old, Jay, is about to embark on his own journey to becoming the person he's meant to be, and aside from the minor influence and guidence, I am no longer a large factor in what kind of person he is going to be in his future.
While this sounds like a harsh, identity-threatening prison sentence for a mother, it is also exciting for it also means that our report card is finally about to be published and that I get to see the fruit of our labor for the past 6 years.
The craziest thing about the parenthood is that more than you actually help your children grow, they end up helping you grow. While you repeat life's simplest mandane tasks day in and day out, you are reminded of the most basic virtues in life such as patience, persistence, empathy, and gratitude as if you are given a 2nd chance in finalizing who you need to be in order to guide those innocent little souls.
It is true that my influence in Jay's life may be waning everyday, but I hope I can keep on reinventing myself so that I may prove myself worthy of witnessing his true personality taking form.
Last weekend, I had a chance to go out and catch up with my girlfriends over dinner and drinks at our favorite spot, North.
From Left: CC, Janice, me, and Jewel
As we enjoyed the nice warm spring night at an outdoor patio table chatting away about anything and everything; from how rude the waiter was to the craziness of our husbands' work schedules to the latest shopping spree; we somehow ended up talking about what it is that makes women feel safe and secure in life. Right off the bat (or so it seemed after a couple more martinis...), we pretty much agreed that we needed the same thing--companionship, stability, a comfortable home, a loving-but-driven partner, intimacy, and...BANG, there it was...the money.
Maybe these are--more or less--all basic human needs, but the interesting thing was how each of us ranked the order of importance differently, although we fit into a pretty similar demographic group, financially and socially speaking. Especially when it came to the actual amount of mula we each felt was necessary to sustain our living, there was a HUGE gap. I mean, huge.
I know this sounds like a total cliché, but I realized that, for me, the most precious and priceless value laid in the people in my life. I don't just mean my immediate family. Of course, they're the biggest source of security, but many of the friends/mentors/and even some strangers that have left some impressions on my life are all such important part of me today.
Growing up in the suberb of Tokyo where we all had very small homes, the size of homes and what we have in them have never held much importance for me. (Although I do enjoy and appreciate everything I have been blessed with.) Money... Rachid and I have literally been through "the richer and the poor" in our short life together, and although it does mess with your stress level, I will admit, I have been completely secure and happy on a very limited budget before.
Where I feel so tremendeously lucky and well off is the intricate threads of support I have around me--some close-by, some half-way around the world--that makes me feel like I can never fall off the face of the Earth because this safety net is always there to catch me and cradle me like a sling around a newborn baby should I start slipping.
So, if you visit my blog regularly to see what my family and I are up to, the chances are you are a big part of my comfort sling. Thank you. Because I would not be where I am today if you didn't come across and alter my life so very tremendeously.
And if you are a great friend of mine but have been a stranger to my site, what the hell is wrong with you? Repent immediately and give in to the power of the dark side...
Baby, I love you, and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
...Well, at least ever since the Neiman Marcus clearance sale...
It was around 7:15PM--Rachid and I were enjoying nice after-dinner conversation with CC and her daughter, Jazzy, when we heard our little Pucker yelling from the bathroom, informing us that there was a spider in there. Just as Rachid asked to be excused and started to get up two seconds later, we heard the little Pucker let out the loudest shriek we've ever heard in our lives, screaming and almost laughing hysterically in a high-pitch voice.
We all rushed over to him, imagining a gigantic monster spider swollowing his whole left side, getting ready to insert a value-meal sized straw into his brain to suck the life out of him, only to find a tiny little baby spider crawling about 3 feet away from where he was standing. He was so freaked out we could not settle him down. He just continued to let out the blood-freezing shriek uncomprehendable to any humankind...nor to any spider spiecies, I'm sure.
So we all just stood there, we as in us and the baby spider all together, trying to understand this little boy's fear that was so real and so overwhelming to him. By the time we actually thought to comfort him, we could not help but to secretly (and not so secretly) suffer the silent but hysterical laugh.
As Rachid took him to get ready for bed, I just could not help wondering where such a forceful fear came from in his brief existance on earth. I saw the fear in his face, and I truly felt it in my heart as if it was my own. But yet, we have not had any spider-related incidents nor he's been exposed to any forms of media that displayed spiders. Can you imagine him ever, ever watching that scene from Harry Potter with those spiders in the forest?
In hopes of gaining a little insight into our little Pucker's psyche, I searched for articles that explained phobias. In one of them, J. Ruth Gendler--an artist, writer, and teacher from Berkeley, CA--was quoted as saying, "Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small."
A pilgrimage to Berkley may be on the horizon for Rachid and me...
Once a month, I attend a Christian-based lecture group called MOPS.
The organization invites a different speaker each month to talk about a topic applicable especially to the mothers of preschoolers (hence the name, MOPS).
Since last weekend was Valentines weekend (if there is such a thing!), the topic for this month's meeting was marriage. In their fabulous lecture, this couple in their late 40s(?) talked a great deal about influence you need to have in your marraige. Influence? Isn't that a bad thing?
When I think of the word, influence, in a relationships, I immediately imagine a woman whispering into a man's ear--almost a manipulative gesture. I always thought that everyone knows the best for themselves, and things are better left alone, for the most part. But they quoted the definition of influence as a "character exhaling." What a beautiful phrase. Character Exhaling. Your essense becoming a part of someone else.
Have you thought about your influence in your home? On scale of 1 to 5, how pure is your motive? On scale of 1 to 5, how positive is your influence and how does it dictate the mood of your household? When I master, one day, to conciously and carefully have only the positive influence into my husbund, instead of having influence over him, maybe I can finally become the type of spouce that is truly complimantary to him.
I often ponder about what it is that I wish for my children.
Once my mother told me that her wish for my brother and me was that we'd grow up to be responsible and functional members of the society. She believed that no one was truly happy if s/he was not socially accepted. I've also heard people wish for their success, happiness, wealth, health... The list can go on forever.
As Rachid and I were sitting down at a Pizza restaurant tonight, attending Jay's scout meeting with the boys, all of a sudden, it became clear to me. I wish that my children will grow up to know and appreciate who they are and to belong to something that they'd have to work hard for.
I think it's extremely important to really understand the true nature of yourself--good and bad. Once you figure that out, it becomes clearer what sort of activities, groups, or friends you'd want to take part in. When you have to work hard to belong to something, whatever that may be, you tend to appreciate it more and to be proud of something bigger than just yourself and your own achievement.
For an example, Jay happens to belong to a very prestigious swim team in the area. They take the sports very seriously, and because of that, they are very strict not only with the swimming portion of it but also with the school work as well as the character developing. They always talk to children about code of conduct especially when they're wearing their uniforms, and I have never been more impressed with a group of kids I encounter there.
Part of belonging to something that is possibly above their ability is that they are probably not going to be the superstars. Even then, I wish that they'd always dream and shoot for the best versions of themselves.
Jay and his Cub Scout buddies
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